The introduction
I am a self-professed "nice guy". I say my pleases and thank yous. I hold doors open for other people. I hold the lift when I see someone coming in. I smile to the cashiers and cleaners. But I've also done some terrible things. Hurt other people's feelings. Toyed with their emotions. Manipulated people so that I could get my way. Betrayed the trust of friends and lovers. It's bad enough when someone does these to other people. But when it's a "nice guy" that does it, it's so much worst because nobody expects it. I'm not saying this like I'm proud of it. More like a self-reflection and internalization of why I'm such a sorry excuse of a human being. 2018 has not been a good year for me. My worst traits surfaced and I find myself unable to rein them back in. Because of how complicated and screwed up my life story is, I don't really have an outlet to express myself. Hence, the blog. Little by little, I'll share my p